hclappy

Been thinking a lot about the Secret this weekend and trying to use it as a way through my sea of crankiness. It was a pretty rough one, mostly due to hormones and ss crank. And the whole baby/no baby emotional roller coaster that left me in tears every day for several days. Sooo tired of that. Seriously.

So I wanted to take this opportunity to write in here and catch myself up a little and also get the grateful juices flowing because I need an attitude adjustment. 

Christmas was really great. I slept in late and yh got up early and started the turkey. We both worked really hard making dinner and it was sooo worth it. The food was awesome and we ate off that turkey for weeks. YH is a great turkey cooker. I'm grateful for that day, and having our first Christmas together as a married couple. I'm grateful for my family, who I missed a lot that day and every day. I'm really lucky to have people who love me. I know it was tough for some of them, especially considering everybody thought we'd be back in Nashville by now and nobody had the faintest idea that that last Christmas together and my wedding would be the last time we'd get together like that for a long time. I'm very grateful that we've been able to stay in touch regularly and visit. 

Then came our anniversary. I must admit I had pretty low expectations for that day. Had to spend part of the day with ss which made me pissed beyond words at first. But it was soooo much better than I thought it would be. And Yh really worked hard to make it a special day for me and I'm eternally grateful for that. He really did make the holidays wonderful. I love him so much and am so grateful for him every day, but especially that day. We went to the Melting Pot and it was wonderful as usual. Ate too much, as usual. He had things set up with balloons and a card and we got our picture taken together. It's one of my favorite pictures of us together.

The anniversary of the worst day of my life came and went. That too, was better than I expected. It was just another day. I'm really grateful to have passed that day. I have so much to look forward to. I really hope to one day be able to celebrate that day. I'm not there yet, not even close... but I'm more confident than ever that I will be able to someday.

I think the next big event was my birthday. That was another day that I'd been sort of dreading, but once again Yh made it a wonderful, amazing day for me. I cannot possibly express how grateful I am to have him in my life. Most of my birthdays have been pretty shitty for one reason or another and I wasn't having very high hopes for this one bc ss was yet again intruding into a day that was supposed to be "my" day. But I was so wrong. Having him here added so much to my day. He really was a joy to be around and I cried so many tears of happiness that day that I could've filled buckets. It was more than my day. It was our day. It was a beautiful day. I'm incredibly grateful for that day. 

Something else happened on that day that I still have mixed emotions about. I talked to Lisa, who I haven't spoken with since I've been married. I'd heard some things about that part of the family, but it was interesting hearing them from the horse's mouth so to speak. Some of them are doing really well and I'm very grateful for that. Others are having a lot of  difficulties. I'm just happy to hear from them and to know that they're safe for the most part.

I know a lot more has happened, but it's hard to some up two months in a few paragraphs. I won't promise to write in here more because I'm not very good at those kinds of promises. But I will promise to continue working on the gratitude thing. I feel like I've learned so much about that the past year. I had to try to learn to be grateful for my many blessings and try to see the brighter side of things. Otherwise I would've lost my mind. Yh has taught me a lot about that, though I know I have a lot yet to learn. I still catch myself saying "but" too much. But it's about the journey and not the destination. As much as I can strive for inner peace and happiness and all that shit, life still has to be lived. And I'm living a pretty damned good one.

Okay enough philosophical junk. I need breakfast.

ok so lots of randomness the past couple of days and will probably forget some things.

We'll work backwards...

My body continues in it's continuing efforts to turn me into a sniveling mess writhing on the floor in fits of miserable futility.... ok someone takes herself waaay too seriously....

dh is giving me play by play of the apple thingy which has potential for great niftyness in terms of new ipods :-D

Finnished Away Laughing on a Fast Camel. I love me some Georgia Nicolson books!

made beerburgers last night... I've been wearing out the Foreman grill lately.

We finished up last season of the Unit last night. I'm currently working on the selection process to see which lucky shows get picked to be tivo season passes.

My mother has a creepy stalker... of course she does.... *sighs* A little worried, but she's dealt with much scarier guys than this... plus her three big slobbering dogs are there...  So apparently she's finished being pissed with me. Nice to know.

Much Melissa news to report, but will hold off just in case someone ever looks at this.